Clueless

Posted on February 22, 2011

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I had an interview today on KATU’s AM Northwest show.  It’s not like I go on TV all the time.  Actually going on TV was never even a goal, so yeah, I was nervous. Before the interview I was in the prep area getting ready and the host of the show Dave Anderson was talking to me.  He mentioned that he sees himself as a clueless man and felt he was one who could benefit from my work.  I just had to tell him I had no idea what he was talking about.  He was very well groomed, charming and articulate.  I really saw nothing not to like.  Yet, he expressed that he felt like he never knew if he was going to say something that was terribly wrong.  Now, I don’t know if he’s different when he’s out with all his buddies but I couldn’t imagine him being anything but successful with the opposite sex.

The reason I share this is I hear the same thing from so many men.  Men who seem so wonderful have told me that they’re clueless in regards to connecting with women.  And I wonder what this is all about.  Could it be the natural anxiety that comes from putting yourself out there to someone who you want to impress, someone who’s opinion you value?  Could it be that there were times that they came along right after some doofus finished drooling on a woman’s sneakers and she was not feeling too social?

I just don’t know!  But one thing I did express on today’s interview is that as a woman I want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.  I’m not scrutinizing his attire or his choice of words.  I’m not looking for fault.  I’m looking for someone I can have a good time with, who’s going to appreciate me back.

I’m hoping that by leaving my comfort zone and giving these interviews, men will read my book and be able to broaden their big picture.  I’m hoping men will be able to have a better understanding of the male/female dynamic by seeing somethings they weren’t able to before.  It’s important to see things from different perspectives.  Perhaps this will help men relax and be themselves.  I believe that trying way to hard and over attachments to out comes is the basic origin of the majority of the 7 Deadly Saboteurs that I write about.

In my book I use the example of a used car salesman to illustrate trying too hard.  If you went to look at a car, and the guy selling it was trying way too hard wouldn’t you wonder what was wrong with the car?  It’s a deal breaker.  I know that men don’t find it attractive when women are trying too hard.

As I’m fond of saying, men and women have to learn to live together on this planet.  The sooner we start meeting each other half way and communicating in a kind, respectful manner the happier we’ll all be.  And I sure hope that the work I’ve done can make all of that happen sooner than later.

 

If you want to see my interview it’s right here:

 

http://www.katu.com/amnw/segments/116668229.html

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