My Friend the Scary Man

Posted on February 26, 2011

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I’ve been thinking about this for a couple days.  It’s about the Scary Man.  And by the Scary Man I mean the guy who’s over zealous.  When meeting women his antics border on performance art.  Some times he can be the life of the party, if he’s not chasing you around the party.  What I don’t mean by Scary Man is the guy who loses his temper, puts stuff in women’s drinks or is otherwise dangerous.  I call him psycho and predator.  But I know you pretty much knew what I mean.  I just wanted to throw that out there just so we could all be very very clear.

The thing about the Scary Man is that he’s usually got a very high IQ.  And the thing about those with the high IQ is that they get bored.  When these people act out it’s usually to amuse themselves.  Think about the class clown.  I’ve always loved that guy because I’ve found him very clever and creative.  If you think about it, people who are funny don’t tend to be dull witted.  The class clown isn’t some I tend to date but I think he’s very stimulating and festive company.

The other thing about the Scary Man (and I’ve mentioned this before) is he’s shy.  One way I’ve discovered this  is by paying attention to my Scary Man friends.  I notice when a woman does show interest they are not quite as bold as when they were taking the initiative.  The other way I’ve noticed is when the fright and shock of the many repeated  attempts by the Scary Man has worn off, and I was able to turn to them and say “hey buddy, women don’t like that.”  All of a sudden the outlandish pick up lines, the over blown behavior, the looming and such comes to a grinding halt and in it’s place there is an interesting conversation. You know, now that I think of it, nearly all my Scary Man friends have tried to hit on me towards the beginning of our friendship.

If you’re a Scary Man my advice is to cool your jets.  Use your finer powers of observation and you will notice interesting things about people.  You will also see the ways that people are interacting with each other are interesting too.  If you’re still bored start a conversation about something that interests you such as places you’ve traveled to, something you’re working on or a movie you’d like to see.  Try not to pick something right off the bat that’s considered shocking.  If you must, save that for later in the conversation when you’ve established a connection or rapport.  And if you can’t stop yourself from bringing up the weird stuff just make sure you stay away from over the top behavior such as ranting, wild gesticulation and too much drinking.  Remember, “be a gentleman.”  Think of someone who’s a gentleman and don’t do something the gentleman would find mortifying.  Another thing to remember, I’m not saying don’t be scary anymore.  Just don’t be scary when you’ve notice someone you’d like to get to know better.  I’m a huge proponent of being yourself but we must be discerning.

If the the Scary Man has turned his attention to you, stay calm.  Tell him “I’m sure you’re trying to find someone you can be happy with but women don’t like that.”  I can assure you, I’ve used it many times and it has always worked.  The key is to stay as calm as you can because it will make what you have to say much easier for the Scary Man to hear.  It will redirect his attention away from you and back to him.  What you do from there is up to you; run away, stay and chat, change the subject.  Whatever you choose let me know.  I’m curious to hear how it goes for you.

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